Dying for Pie
by J359
Summary: Based on a comic I saw on the internet. One shot from the episode, dying for pie.


Based on this comic: Fanfiction will not let me link the comic. Just google "Squidward Vietnan" and click the first link. You'll see what I mean.

Squidward Tentacles had plenty of regrets. Not getting into the school he had wanted, not pursuing his love of clarinets when he was younger. He had lived a life most would describe as unfufilled. But for the most part, those angers and lost chances only haunted Squidward when he was standing in his shower, watching water flow into the drain, thinking of his mistakes in life, instead of wondering how exactly he was showering when he lived underwater.

But his most recent mistake was now thundering in his mind. Employee Brotherhood Day. Of course he had forgotten about it. Who cared? Squidward didn't. But Spongebob did. Spongebob. Just yesterday that name brought up anger and frustration as his insufferable neighbor. Now it just brought tears to his eyes. What had he done? He had fed Spongebob a bomb!

What was Squidward thinking?! He had bought it from pirates! Did he really expect it to be a real pie? What were pirates doing there anyways? What kind of factory made bombs and then gave them to pirates to deliver? Why was he only realizing the absurdity of this now, when his actions had already come to pass, and now he reaped the horrible consequences.

Squidward had always dreamed of ways to rid himself from that annoying, childish sponge. He never imagined blowing him up with a bomb.

He had done what he could. Did everything Spongebob had wanted, being in a salmon suit, walking in reverse, and unexpected heart surgery. And now, the final task. Watching the sunset, with Squidward. Oh Neptue, what had he done?

The Sun was setting. Arrays of orange, yellow and red shot through the Pacific, as the star descended past the horizon, slowly leaving this side of the Earth to darkness. It was beautiful. It also meant Spongebob didn't have much longer to live.

But that fact wasn't known to the little square dude. Instead, he happily talked on, ignoring the brick wall Squidward had built between them.

"Sunsets always remind me of bowls of fruit," Said Spongebob as the two lay amidst fields of seaweed and coral flowers. "What do they make YOU think of, Squidward?" The burger flipper asked.

Squidward was at a loss of words. His face contured into an expression of despair, horror...simply dead as a living being. Suddenly his vision went foggy. He wasn't in Bikini Bottom anymore...He was in a place far away, doing something Squidward had regretted the moment after he signed his name on the dotted line.

_The sun was setting, casting the entire jungle in a hellish light. Clouds seemed to tremble in the dying sun, parting ways for an eerie orange light to be cast upon the land. The Sun wasn't the only thing emitting light._

_Pillars of fire roared from the explosions as they rocked the earth, shooting flames higher than the jungle canopy. Orange balls of fire resonated heat and pressure as shockwaves of both rushed against Squidward's body, making his olive drab uniform ruffle in the wind. His rifle was gone, dropped at his side as his eyes simply stared ahead, trying to take in the carnage and destruction he saw before him. Beads of sweat formed on his head and nose not only from the heat of the bombs, but from his own fear that seemed to swell in his belly, ice cold inside, contrasting with the heat of his flesh. _

_Squidward didn't want to think of who was still in the blast zone, but knew his platoon would need to be withdrawn and refitted by the time this was over. Probably the whole company- fresh recruits would need to be pressed into uniforms so they could die alongside the veterans. _

_The A-6 Intruders screamed overhead as they made their final pass, oblitering the positions the RTO had said Charlie was at. As they unleashed their new wave of ordinance, another blast of heat overwhelemed Squidward. Surely this was hell._

"Explosions." Squidward said absentmindly, snapping back to reality. He was back in Bikini Bottom now. Realizing what he had just said, he stammered a correction. "I mean - I mean, erosions."

If you know who made the comic linked at the top of this one shot, please let them know my appreciation for their artistic talent.


End file.
